Ethically influence your kid's developing self-story with these three key projects.
the live workshop is coming in january
Your kid's self-story dictates how they understand their place in the world. Good news: you've got the power to ethically influence it.
Your kid's self-story dictates how they understand their place in the world. Good news: you've got the power to ethically influence it.
You want your parental impact to have lasting results, so your kid feels a strong sense of self now and is optimistic about their future. But you're competing with all the noise of today's world. And you're afraid the messages they're taking in aren't setting them up for a healthy, happy life.
You and your kid deserve a relationship built on practical, connection-centered understanding, not a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants approach to the shifts of our modern world. The Ethical & Influential Parent Course provides the strategy and the system for effective and supportive parental influence.
a note for parents in the attention economy:
register for the course
Your kid has a set of internalized beliefs based on their experiences and subsequent assumptions. These beliefs lead to behaviors that don't always serve their well-being in the short or long-term. During The Ethical & Influential Parent: Course and Coffee Dates, you’ll use the WORTHINESS Framework to understand the ways your kid currently meets their root emotional needs and you'll complete activities to make parenting commitments to ethically influence your kid's self-story.
Your best bet at understanding your kid's actions is to learn the stories they've internalized aboutwho they are in this world.
every behavior communicates a need
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the worthiness framework
guides you to
How does this sound?
understand the motivations (unmet needs) behind your child's behaviors.
PROVIDE THE SAFETY FOR YOUR CHILD TO EXPLORE THEIR DEVELOPING IDENTITy.
learn how to spot shame blocks your kid (or you) may have internalized.
gain a process that you can reuse as your child develops and their behaviors evolve.
INCORPORATE EFFECTIVE AND ETHICAL STRATEGIES TO INFLUENCE YOUR CHILD'S BELIEFS AND ACTIONS.
register at the pre-sale price
The Ethical & Influential Parent course and live, virtual "coffee dates" are an intimate group experience with other thoughtful parents like you. You'll use the WORTHINESS Framework to learn the ten essential stories kids tell themselves about who they are. Then you'll apply your knowledge to understand how your kid is currently meeting their root emotional needs. The best part? I'll guide you through a process of making parenting commitments that will strengthen your kid's capacity to connect with others and to live a fulfilling life.
The Ethical & Influential Parent: Course and Coffee Dates
The Ethical
& Influential Parent:
Course and
Coffee Dates
Welcome to
Cultivate Your MindBody Parent Mindset
It’s time to stop putting out fires. Let’s take a step back and consider the greater context in which your kid is developing. There's a reason why certain patterns keep popping up in their outlook, behavior, or dynamic with you. We'll use expansive thinking as we explore the systems that impact your kid’s life. Let’s wipe clean the slate of what has been and create a safe space to reimagine what could be.
what you'll do:
Uncover & Record Your Insights
I’ll guide you through exercises to explore your kid’s mindset, using their language and behavior to uncover their internalized stories. We’ll use targeted methods of information gathering to reveal what you already know about your kid (even if you didn't realize your intuition held this knowledge) and to gain new insights. You’ll then record your findings in your personal Notion dashboard, so you can identify where you want to focus your efforts going forward. This is a process you can return to again and again as your child develops.
Take a Whole Person Approach
You'll use systems thinking to identify opportunities to influence your kid’s overall well-being. This approach understands well-being as a process of consistently moving toward joy, meaning, and connection. It also considers the psychological, social, behavioral, environmental, and physiological factors of a child's overall health.
Live Your Values
Which values about parenting did you choose? Which were chosen for you by default? Now is the time to get clear on what you actually want for your child and your relationship with them. I’ll help you release unhelpful societal expectations of your child and your role as their parent. As you move through the process of unlearning that which doesn't serve you, you'll see with fresh eyes what you truly want. This is a practice you can use on repeat as your relationship, needs, and desires evolve.
We'll meet for 2.5 hours (with a short break) to dig into the framework and use prompts to uncover insights into your kid's self-story.
join a live session
After we meet, you'll use your Notion template to solidify course concepts, record your insights, and use prompts to write your commitments.
ACCESS THE DASHBOARD
Bonus: you're invited to attend all implementation sessions for 3 months to integrate the WORTHINESS Framework into your life.
come back again
How it works
I've tried the conventional approaches to behavior change. Here's what I found...
In my decade working for a non-profit as a behavioral therapist, I discovered that “positive reinforcement” and “negative reinforcement” only work when you can accurately interpret which emotional need the reward/consequence fulfills. In other words: A gold star sticker only matters if you make it matter. And a consequence is only effective if it comes with an opportunity for connection and a different, constructive way to fulfill the need the "bad" behavior revealed.
If you try to get a kid or teen to change how they behave without understanding why they behave that way, you’re likely to encounter heavy resistance. The way to inspire lasting behavioral change is to learn the stories they tell themselves about who they are (their identity) and what their behaviors accomplish. Then parents must give context, reinforcement, and attention that is designed to alter their unique story to one of abundance, safety, and fulfilled needs.
You might already do this intuitively. Intentionality and my proven framework will bolster your parental intuition. Let's take a look at a foundational course concept...
LET ME PAUSE for a minute TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. HI, I'M ALEX!
Alex Fern Gilkeson,
your course educator
and coffee date host
Each of us has what I call a beliefs-behaviors-needs triangle.
These three elements (B-B-N) contribute to our self-stories and influence each other bidirectionally.
Let's take a look at how beliefs, behaviors, and root needs might produce a negative self-story...
Symptoms of a negative self-story include disempowered beliefs, destructive behaviors, and unfulfilled root needs.
Each of these elements (beliefs, behaviors, and fulfillment of root needs) have their own spectrum with extremes on each end. For example, behaviors range from constructive to destructive.
When one element of a child's B-B-N Triangle consistently falls on the less desirable end of the spectrum (e.g., very disempowering beliefs pop up way more often than empowering or neutral ones), the other elements also suffer.
Destructive behaviors tend to create thoughts that lead to less empowered beliefs and root needs tend to be fulfilled less. That's because "problem" behaviors breed conflict that erode trust and connection. Kids only seek adult support if they've internalized it's emotionally safe to do so.
When parents and other professionals don't intervene, a harmful loop occurs that reinforces a negative self-story. At this point, the kid's sense of self (their identity) calcifies. Influencing a calcified self-image is more challenging. That's why we've got to be pro-active and intentional.
Decode Your Kid's Root Needs
The Root Needs Decoding process (that I follow every single time I work with a kid, and teach my coaching clients) goes through 5 important stages: spot behavior clues, learn the 10 needs categories, understand how needs expression isn't always logical, plot behaviors on a constructive/destructive spectrum, and apply the WORTHINESS Framework.
Project #1:
first, you'll...
In the Course and Coffee Date, you'll complete 3 key projects:
Define Your Kid's Story Stack
It’s useful to consider identity as a collection of intertwined stories clustered around root emotional needs. In this project, we'll work together to spot the story patterns that emerge around you child's attempts at needs fulfillment. You'll build on your insights from Project #1, identify vulnerabilities in your kid's self-story, and learn the two primary means of displacing destructive stories.
Project #2:
next, it's time to...
Direct Your Parenting Efforts
Lasting change only happens when you have a plan. In this project, you'll make parental commitments that shift you into a proactive role so you can influence and support your child's positive self-story. You'll use your Ethical & Influential Parent HQ (in Notion) to complete activities and prompts that guide you to clarify your parenting priorities. You can return to these prompts again and again as your parent-child relationship evolves.
Project #3:
then you get to...
As a parent, you can support your kid's positive
self-story by influencing their beliefs-behaviors-needs triangle.
That means: 1) empowered beliefs, 2) constructive behaviors, and 3) fulfilled root needs (for a majority of the time in their day-to-day).
In the best case scenario, the three elements are regularly falling near the optimal end of their spectrum. That means they'll support a positive self-story.
Focusing on any element is helpful and can interrupt a negative self-story cycle. But you can have the most impact on their self-story by considering all three points on their triangle together.
That's what we'll work on together in The Ethical & Influential Parent Course and Coffee Dates.
join the course
Your kid's childhood (and your relationship with them) is happening right now....
What if I can't make it live? Are the sessions recorded?
Frequently Asked Questions
To protect the privacy of attendees, I do not record the exploration and practice sessions (coffee dates). You are invited to attend any sessions held for the three months following your registration (up to 4). Sessions are held about once a month. Unable to attend at this time, but really want to participate? Please email me at Alex@MindBodyParents.com to share your preferred times.
There will be guided activities. You're invited to share your insights and value statements, and ask questions at many points during our coffee date. Speaking is voluntary; not sharing won't limit the benefits.
I get it. I humbly offer this: clarity comes from engagement with ideas and from practice, not from staying "all in our heads." That's what this course experience is: engagement and practice. And because you can return for an additional three months, you get to decide how fast you dive into the lessons and activities. I've also designed the course curriculum to minimize overwhelm, foster self-efficacy, and honor your values.
Following the live coffee date, you'll receive an email with access to a Notion template (at no additional cost) designed specifically for The Ethical & Intentional Parent Course and Coffee Date participants. Prompts in your dashboard will guide you through the course activities to complete. You can make a copy and populate your template privately - no one else can view it.
In the future, I plan to include go-at-your-own-pace video lessons in conjunction with the Notion dashboard of course activities. The prompts are robust and designed to work for you even if you are unable to attend a live session. Registering now means you're getting "early adopter" pricing.
Yes! All participants of The Ethical & Influential Parent Course & Coffee Dates will receive the most up-to-date version of the materials, including future go-at-your-own-pace video lessons. These are yours to keep for the lifetime of the program.
How generous! You can purchase a gift registration here. Please be sure to email Alex@MindBodyParents.com and share your name and the recipient's name and email address so we can send them a warm welcome and share the next steps.
What if I can't make it live? Are the sessions recorded?
To protect the privacy of attendees, I do not record the exploration and practice sessions (coffee dates). You are invited to attend any sessions held for the three months following your registration (up to 4). Sessions are held about once a month. Unable to attend at this time, but really want to participate? Please email me at Alex@MindBodyParents.com to share your preferred times.
Frequently Asked Questions
How interactive are the live sessions?
There will be guided activities. You're invited to share your insights and value statements, and ask questions at many points during our coffee date. Speaking is voluntary; not sharing won't limit the benefits.
I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. Should I do something else first?
I get it. I humbly offer this: clarity comes from engagement with ideas and from practice, not from staying "all in our heads." That's what this course experience is: engagement and practice. And because you can return for an additional three months, you get to decide how fast you dive into the lessons and activities. I've also designed the course curriculum to minimize overwhelm, foster self-efficacy, and honor your values.
How do I access The Ethical & Influential Parent Course dashboard?
Following the live coffee date, you'll receive an email with access to a Notion template (at no additional cost) designed specifically for The Ethical & Intentional Parent Course and Coffee Date participants. Prompts in your dashboard will guide you through the course activities to complete. You can make a copy and populate your template privately - no one else can view it.
What if I can never attend live, but really want to get the training?
In the future, I plan to include go-at-your-own-pace video lessons in conjunction with the Notion dashboard of course activities. The prompts are robust and designed to work for you even if you are unable to attend a live session. Registering now means you're getting "early adopter" pricing.
If I register now, will I get the companion video lessons?
Yes! All participants of The Ethical & Influential Parent Course & Coffee Dates will receive the most up-to-date version of the materials, including future go-at-your-own-pace video lessons. These are yours to keep for the lifetime of the program.
Can I give The Ethical & Influential Parent Course as a gift?
How generous! You can purchase a gift registration here. Please be sure to email Alex@MindBodyParents.com and share your name and the recipient's name and email address so we can send them a warm welcome and share the next steps.
“Alex possesses an innate gift for transforming challenges into opportunities for growth.”
I saw his patience and kindness firsthand during our work together in both groups and schools. Alex's therapeutic application of empowerment extends beyond behavioral correction to encompass high-level parent education and building tools to help children and families create lasting change.
kelly young, licensed marriage & family therapist
“Alex continually brings value to those around him.”
I worked alongside Alex in his role as behavioral therapist. He teaches the science of Applied Behavior Analysis with empathy, compassion, and an understanding of the power of relationships between children and adults.
francisco prieto, ma, ms, behavior analyst
“Alex's dedication to making this world better is inspiring.”
I have had the pleasure of knowing Alex Fern Gilkeson personally and professionally for nearly 15 years. He is truly a genuine person who just wants to help others. He is consistent, stable, and gifted in knowing how to connect with his clients. His level of knowledge is high. He makes a difference.
eric kastan, ma, lmft, bcba, mfc
KIND WORDS
Understanding how your kid views themself with regard to you, their context, and their future
Using your innate (you were born with it!) empathic abilities to make your kid feel understood, valid, & loved
Spotting where other peoples’ values have crept into your parenting repertoire
Releasing old assumptions to make commitments that center your kid’s best interests
Venting your frustrations on your kid less (patience comes more easily when we engage empathically)
Feeling a renewed sense of optimism around your kid’s future, based on their expanding resilience
By the end of the course, you'll be...
JOIN NOW
I speak "Kid." Let me teach you how. In our work together, you'll learn the "why" to your kid's "what," so you can better connect and meet their emotional needs with confidence. (Heads up: we've got to go deeper than "gentle parenting").
Hi, I'm Alex,
your new parenting coach.
Just because the Attention Economy has normalized overstimulation and compromised parental influence doesn't mean we have to accept it.
I believe we get to choose connection even in the face of culturally normalized isolation and polarization. Just because something has been made to seem "normal," doesn't mean it's acceptable. You can choose a different path for your kid.
There are practical steps we can take to further our ability to empathize with our kids and how they're experiencing this new world. It's essential that we adopt a sense of optimism when it comes to our children's futures. The Ethical & Influential Parent Course and Coffee Dates is an intimate, supportive space to explore limiting cultural messages we may have internalized as parents and make commitments that increase our parental resilience and our parental influence.
You probably have a good idea of what kind of life you want for your kid.
You imagine a world where your child feels secure, confident, and connected to their community. You want them to have meaningful friendships and grow into adults who are certain that their existence matters. Put simply, you want them to feel loved, fulfilled, and safe.
Unfortunately the systems at play and the warp-speed pace of new technological developments make our collective future feel uncertain and precarious. When you think of how that outlook affects your child, it's disorienting and often outright terrifying.
I'm not trying to fear-monger here. I want you to know that as a parent coach and as a dad, I understand these feelings and they are completely valid. And, I want to help you fortify your parenting skills, instincts, and determination in order to beat overwhelm, so it doesn't lead to paralysis.
your kid needs you to be present and proactive. they need your influence.
Sometimes it can feel like there's no point, like the happenings of the world are out of our control. But then we remember our kids and our responsibility to them. The world isn't changing tomorrow and we can't count on intelligent, ethical regulation of things that threaten our children's well-being, like social media and artificial intelligence. So the way I see it, we have a choice:
1) Continue waiting for these systems to improve...OR
2) Recognize the incredible potential you have to ethically influence your child in ways that support their greatest joy, meaning, and health.
We can feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of outside influences impacting our children. But that doesn't mean we can just "opt out." Doing nothing, or not having an intentional approach means the dominant status quo wins. Our kids deserve to thrive. And we deserve to have meaningful relationships with them.
This isn't about ignoring the fact that supportive systems for parents are grossly lacking these days. It's about coming together in spite of that, to be in community and to build our resources the best we can. I designed The Ethical & Influential Parent Course & Coffee Dates to support you in this process.
Your kid is in a process of creating their self-story (identity). And there are plenty of influencers, brands, and media vying to sell them one.
details below
The Ethical & Influential Parent Course & Coffee Dates is normally $275. For a limited time (or until spots sell out), you can register at the pre-sale price of $175.
The next Ethical & Influential Parent Coffee Date will be held in January. Date and time to be announced in December.
Oh, and as a bonus, you've got an invitation to return to any Coffee Date (implementation and connection session) for the 3 months following your initial investment (for up to a total of 4 Coffee Dates). Sessions are typically held once a month.
Due to the live nature of this experience, refunds are not granted.
If you'd like to purchase the course as a gift, please checkout here.
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